Rico and Clinton Petrino discussed having a family early in their relationship. Seven years ago, when they got married, those discussions grew more frequent and focused, as they explored their options. 

Initially, they considered surrogacy. But when they discovered how many young people were living in local foster care, they realized that adoption aligned more closely with their values. As Rico put it, “We wanted to love the kids who needed love.” Specifically, they wanted to help a pair of siblings in foster care stay together. 

And when they learned that Stanford Sierra Youth & Families works with sibling sets, they contacted the agency. Through Stanford Sierra, they met other non-traditional families who shared their stories with them. The welcoming environment and collaborative spirit encouraged them to continue their journey with adoption. 

Rico and Clinton recall all the firsts their journey has been filled with so far: their first home study, their first training, and the first time they met the siblings who would become their kids. Two years ago, Rico and Clinton welcomed two children, Aiden, then 7, and Preston, then 13 into their home. Like most kids in foster care, the kids had been through a lot. And as is the case with most young people who have endured trauma, those events continued to affect them at times. 

Early in the placement, one night when the family was navigating  trauma-reactive behaviors, Rico and Clinton did their best to respond calmy and supportively, but the situation remained tense. Looking for guidance, they called Stanford Sierra Youth & Families’ 24/7 help line. Soon, a social worker was at their door. The social worker helped everyone self-regulate, bringing the emotional temperature down and brining the family back to a sense of calm.

“Having that experience was so comforting,” says Rico, “to know we weren’t alone.”Clinton says the experience left them appreciating even more their decision to form their family through adoption, that the support they’ve received from their Stanford Sierra social worker would not have been available through surrogacy. 

They also gained a deeper understanding of their family’s journey. Clinton and Rico knew they had lots of love to give, but they also realized that the kids didn’t know them that well yet. They continued their journey with a greater appreciation for and dedication to building trust with Preston and Aiden. Progress takes time. 

And with time, they made that progress. Rico recalls a powerful moment he had with Aiden after a new ceiling fan had been installed in their bedroom. Rico wasn’t sure how to use the remote control, so Aiden showed him how. Rico told him how impressed he was that he’d learned it so quickly to which Aiden replied, “Yeah, it’s my room. I know everything about my room.” Rico adds, “This ownership and belonging, that he felt like this was his home . . . at the moment I welled up a little bit. This is their home, and they feel it.” 

Progress isn’t always a straight line. Setbacks happen, and challenges continue to arise. When they do, Clinton and Rico re-commit themselves to their children. This re-commitment, this affirmative re-choosing, shows that they are here for the long run, that Clinton and Rico are here for the good times and the bad, which is what families do. 

Today, Preston and Aiden are both excelling in school. Preston’s getting straight As and participates in orchestra – playing the violin, cello, and double bass. When asked what they would say to someone who is thinking about taking this journey, Clinton says, “Double down and do it. And do it sooner rather than later because the reality is it takes time . . . and life happens in the meantime. They’re children,” he says, “and they need us.” 

“It’s like with any big thing,” Rico adds. “If you try to think about, it becomes overwhelming, but doing the next first thing . . . you’ll get to the place where you have your family . . . Go in it with your heart centered, and go for it.” 

Stanford Sierra Youth & Families is proud to play a part in the Petrino family’s journey, to be there for them through the good times and the bad, just like they are for each other day in and day out, like families do.